Apart from the four-yearly festival of local democracy ("the council elections" ), where senior council officers parade together to gloat on their good fortune, the usual method used by our council officers to further their careers and enlarge their bank accounts is the "consultation exercise". It comes in a number of varieties, some better-known than others, but all equally useful to the empire-building piece of shit who knows he's worth more than a measly "just into £6 figures":

"CONsultation" - the best-known form, pretty self-explanatory - they con you into believing that your views are worth something, but really they are conducting a market research exercise to find the best way of selling the plan that they've already decided on

"INsultation" - a process that ends up with a senior officer glancing conspiratorially around the great and good at a cabinet meeting and saying "there are people out there who will stop at nothing to oppose our plans" - the same senior officer has a rather distressing habit of attacking residents and the media when they quote directly from council documents.

"EXultation" - they spend a few grand very visibly seeking the views of the public, which turn out to be "unhelpful" (to who?), so the whole exercise is quietly ditched for a few months

"NONsultation" - the massive opinion research exercise that no one can remember - even those who were supposed to have taken part in it. In its most advanced form ("NONCEultation" ) it involves non-existent "nonceultees": viz. the original Town Park nonceultation that managed to reflect the views of an organisation ("Telford First" ) that didn't exist at that time. Either that or they've cracked the secret of time travel).

"STRANGUlation" - one day, you bastards!

I'll leave the best bit 'til last - a few years ago a colleague who was employed on consultation work for the council submitted their report on the outcome of a "focus group", where local residents had been asked about their opinion of the council - it was sent back with instructions to "make it more positive"!!!!

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"I'll leave the best bit 'til last - a few years ago a colleague who was employed on cunsultation work for the council submitted their report on the outcome of a "focus group", where local residents had been asked about their opinion of the council - it was sent back with instructions to 'make it more positive"!!!!"

I really cannot believe it, but personally, I for one am extremely dissapointed that i was sucked to think that the Tories would make a difference.

What they have done is continue with the same old blurb and I am actually starting to think that things could actually be worse than before.