Unlike the B.B.C this site does not hesitate to make an aplogy to our viewers:all ten of them. Therefore we announce that A.J.Cobbler has been suspended for ever as a result of his insults to Lord Hoop,whom,he said was born in Brosely and was known as Uggy.

Cobblers excuse was indeed a load of cobblers. He claimed that Lord Hoop was a fictitious character.However,a well known person arrived at the site office and showed John Franklyn his derriere which displayed the Hoop coat of arms,a birth mark which proved his title.

Subsequent to being told to piss off Cobbler said that he would tell all viewers that J.F. was not an ex soldier with twelve years service but an ex ballet dancer at Sadlers Wells where he had been the main lifter.Though Cobbler did not suggest that J.F. was a shirt lifter, or gay ,he did say that Mr Franklyn had got too big for his ballet shoes and ,even worse,had out grown his cod piece.

Haroon El Raschid,Site Controller.Equal Opportunity Officer,and complete opportunist.

OH,YES. THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE ORIGINS OF HOOP WILL NOT NOW APPEAR.HOWEVER,IT CAN BE FOUND ON THE TOPSHELF OF LOCAL NEWSAGENTS

Dear Cobbler what can I say, and I was so looking forward to the next ''where did Hoop come from'' and as I'm only 5 feet tall I will never get to find out.

However Cobbler I do have a bit of history on JF.
You know his wife took a short break some time ago, so I called in to see if he wanted anything.
As I walked in to the lounge I saw a ladey on his sofa about 5feet wearing very littel.
I thought I had seen this lady before and as I left I said ''John she diden't say a lot and shes not very tall and I'v seen her before.
John replyed'' on a good day she can reach hight's of 6'2inches, ask Cobbler he was at the same council. meeting.

I have got back on the site but no one seems to object. There are supposed to be ninety eight viewers of this topic. Are you all computer illiterate?.Either support me or demand that I am blocked. This El Raschid character hasn't done a very good job in getting rid of me so sack him. Look ,I need the notoriety. I want to be a celebrity like Russel Brand.Further more when I tried to get back as Wanda Hendrix the system rejected me. This is not politically correct.So buck up or await a letter from my lawyers.Oddly enough this might give the site the celebrity it desires,Cobblers.

You are still accepting my ludicrous tosh.I insult Hoop but instead of being angry he greets me in the All nations(the best pub in town folks with out door heating and a cosy fireside inside and home brew from the nineteenth century).Instead of cursing me Hoop utters some jovial remark which is beyond me and collapses once more into his cup.

My name is Wanda hendrix. I have been able to get onto the site by pretending to be A.J.Cobbler. Something has to be done about your security.

HOWEVER,WHEN EVERYTHING IS SORTED I WILL TELL YOU THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR SOCKS STEAM. I AM A GIRL THAT HAS BEEN AROUND..AND AROUND,.. AND SO ON ..LIKE A CAROUSEL,A LA RONDE OF DEGENERATE DISGUST.

This is nothing short of an absolute disgrace - the poor chap can't even get himself banned thanks to interfering do-gooding busybodies - that Franklyn fellow's obviously got a touch of the Nazi about him! I'm sure he'll relent when he realises that he's driving you into transexuality (I hope you've discussed "Wanda" with your delightful wife - don't you think she's got enough to put up with already?).

I thought you'd like The Nations - as you've seen the regulars treasure it - the last real pub round here and a proper home from home (in fact Lady Hoop has often asked why I don't just move my bed down there - come to think of it it's a lot nearer to work....).

I'm sure you'll get yourself properly banned before long, and one of the maids has been hunting through her Ladyship's closets looking for a few items that might fit "Wanda" - I did hear her muttering something that sounded like "bloody sicko pervy weirdo freak, 'e wants castrating", but don't judge the girl too harshly - we tend to employ simple country girls at the Hall.

It would seem Cobbler and Lord Hoop have been on the pop again .
Welcome back Cobbler or Wanda it's nice to know you carn't put a old dog down.